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Anatomy Discovery (Johnkat) (Chap 1)"What the FUCK Egbert!? Stop leaving your stupid ass junk round the house!" The grey troll bellowed as he glared at the spectacled human with great annoyance. Dangling from his clawed fingers was Johns beagle puss glasses. The spectacled fucktard was always leaving his stuff around, and due to his short temper could not stand it in the slightest. John, who was busy communicating on Pesterchum curiously turned around to face the infuriated troll. "Hey, calm down Karkat. People forget things ." Completely indulged in ferocity, Karkat took Johns response as an insult. "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!" Karkat bellowed as he tossed the beagle puss glasses onto the floor and bared a row of sharp pearly-whites.
Seeing that immediate action was needed for the circumstance, John quickly rose out of his computer chair and waltzed over towards the raging Karkat. The troll was acting absolutely ridiculous (but then again, when wasn't he?). The two stood side by side, Karkat now gone quiet due the r
i like my sugar with two teaspoons of coffee! 2You are fucked.
You are completely an utterly fucked in the worst way imaginable.
You are fucked and there is no help for you, not any, you are alone up the creek in a stupid floaty raft because you were too cheap to get a real boat and there is a giant fucking tear in your useless floating raft, and all the air is hissing out, and the air is laughing at you, in jaunty-as-fuck little hisses of malicious glee, because you are fucked and even the fucking air fucking knows how fucked you are.
You are royally flipping your shit and imaginary air is laugh-hissing at you in your mind because you are flipping your shit that fucking hard.
You are pretty sure you have a date.
You are equally sure that you do not know how to deal with a date, and you are way more sure that you are not asking your brother for help, desperately as you need it, regardless of your brother being completely homosexual and in possession of a boyfriend. The dude's a dick. And you ar
To Clothe a Cat DaveXNepetaTo Clothe A Cat
"Come on! You're the one who said you wanted to learn how to 'fit in more'. Then as soon as we get here you back down?" Dave sighed and dropped Nepeta who was desperately clinging to a pole. Nepeta stared back at Dave then at the large building humans called a "Mall".
Sure at first it sounded "pawsome". Now that she was here though it was anything but. Dave had told her that to fit in she would need new clothes. Nepeta decided (after much persuading, role playing, and a series of kitten involved threats) to let Dave tKw her to a mall.
Dave grabbed Nepeta by her legs again. He gave a tug trying to pull her off the pole.
"Fuck you and fuck your freakishly strong alien muscles! Let go!" Dave was so used to being ignored that he wasn't prepared or her to actually let go. With a less than acrobatic flip Dave and Nepeta tumble to the ground.
"When we get home you are sooo dead..." Dave muttered as he fixed his sunglasses. Nepeta grinned at him and pull
How It Began"God, your two o'clock is here."
"I have a two o'clock?"
"He's been here since 7:45. I figured it's only polite to... sir."
God sighed. "Fine, send him in."
While He waited God cleared His desk of papers and blueprints; no need for outsiders to see His plans. Soon enough the door to His office opened and God stood, smiled, held out a hand towards one of the two visitor's chairs.
"God! Great stuff you're doing in sector 2-7-0! Great stuff!"
The man's hands were clammy, his handshake limp. Rumpled suit, porkpie hat, briefcase... oh Jes-- oh dear, a salesman. God's smile slipped a little but He soldiered on gamely. With luck He could shoo the poor guy away in a few minutes.
"So, what can I do for you?"
The man sat, briefcase across his knees. "Sector 2-7-0! Everyone's talking about it! What do you call it? Man and merman?"
"Man and woman, actually. And thanks. But we're pretty busy around here, and..."
"Oh! Right! No time for the wicked, eh?" The salesman winked and popped his briefcase,
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